I have no idea how we can co-opt this in library land, but I wanted to share with you the absolutely wonderful-sounding warranty offered by the manufacturer of my newest pair of earphones, Skullcandy:
Skullcandy is proud to provide he best product warranty in the industry. If this product should fail in your lifetime, we will replace it at no charge. If the product is damaged by aggressive music listeners sliding a rail, sliding down the emergency ramp of your aircraft, slammed in your locker, slammed in your car door, run over by a car, running into a wall, getting run out of town, mountain biking, road biking, sky diving..., blown up in an accidental experimentation with flammable substances, or damaged in any other every day experience, it means you are living your life the way we want out product used! In these, or any other damaging events, we will replace the product for a 50% discount from retail. -- Love Skullcandy.
Oh yeah, and I really like the headphones too :-)